Congratulations.
Even Boris Couldn’t Match Your Chutzpah
I have known Sir Keith Stürmer ever since I was at
law school. So you can imagine how I felt when he was the first MP to welcome
my expulsion 4 years ago with a one word tweet ‘good’. Keith was never
one to waste words except when spending one and a half hours telling us about
his family in his speech to Labour Party conference.
So you can imagine how I felt when Keith sent me a personal letter
asking for some cash. Naturally I was
over the moon that Keith had reached out to me again and I felt that the least
I could do was pen him a short letter offering him some advice. Please keep
this confidential as I don’t want to be expelled again when I rejoin the party
next February!
Tony Greenstein
Dear
Keith,
It’s
always good to hear from an old friend, even one who welcomed my expulsion. Let
it never be said of me that I bear a grudge. I know how difficult it must be to
turn around the good ship Labour if it to become acceptable again to the British
Establishment.
I know
you will appreciate frankness and honesty from an old friend. After all it’s
more than you will get from Rachel Reeves and Angela Rayner as they plot to
stab you in your back (or in the case of Jess
Philips from the front).
I have to
confess that I was somewhat hurt, given our longstanding friendship, to read
your tweet
four years ago. For a man not known for his way with words, your one word
response, ‘good’ to my expulsion was
very hurtful. However that is water under the bridge.
It was with
some surprise that I received your begging email asking me to part with some of
the benefits you intend to cut. Apparently you are in some form of financial
crisis. It is very unfortunate that because of all the resignations and
expulsions that you have lost all this money, to say nothing of all the legal
expenses incurred when they protest.
That is
what comes of relying on the advice of the Prince of Darkness
(Mandelson). He never did have much of a clue when it came to money, especially
when it belonged to someone else. From what I recall he had to resign, not once
but twice, over some shady
loans from a Labour MP Geoff Robinson whose affairs he was suppose to be investigating.
But I
want to congratulate you nonetheless. You have single handedly redefined that
old Yiddish word, ‘Chutzpah’.
As you may know Chutzpah applies to a boy who, having killed both his parents
asks for mercy from the courts because he is now an orphan!
It seems
that you are now asking me for money in order that you can expel more people like
me. Surely you can wait till my 5 year expulsion is up before I’m readmitted to
the Party next February in order that I can be expelled again? Or is the
situation so desperate that can’t you wait?
Don’t get
me wrong Keith. I fully understand your problem. The more people you expel the
less money the Labour Party has to expel people with. The answer is obvious. Why
don’t you ask those who are expelled to make a contribution to their own
expulsions or set up an expulsion fund and ask our friends in the City if they
might consider contributing?
You could
for example, when sending an expulsion letter, include a paragraph explaining
how expensive it is to expel people and asking if they would mind contributing.
I know
that history is not one your stronger points so I thought it might be of some
help if I provided you with a precedent in case anyone questions my brilliant
idea.
In
October 1941 the Nazis began deporting Jews from Germany. However they ran into
a problem. The trains they hired cost money, as the Reichsbahn
charged
per passenger mile. Not only that but they had to pay good money in order to
seize them as many Jews refused to come willingly. What were they to do?
In
stepped Paul Eppstein of the Reichsvereinigung,
the Jewish Council (Judenrat), which the Nazis
had appointed. Eppstein, like all Council members was a Zionist. Why not,
Eppstein suggested to the Gestapo get the Jews to pay for their own deportation?
After all it made sense. Why should they get a free trip to holiday
destinations such as Riga, Minsk, Kaunas or Lodz? Sure they were not likely to
live very long but that was no reason not to pay their way. You can read the
details in Raul Hilberg’s Destruction of
the European Jews (p.486). You’re not known as Herr Stürmer for
nothing.
Expelling
people doesn’t come cheap. It was barely a year ago that you hired
Assaf Kaplan, the Israeli spy, in order to streamline the business
of spying on members and make it more efficient. I know his official title was ‘social listening and organising manager’
but I think we all know what ‘social
listening’ really is – eavesdropping!!
Assaf Kaplan - Israeli spies don't come cheap
I must
confess that I am impressed with Kaplan. Only last week that well-known
troublemaker, Roger Silverman (another Jew expelled in the fight against anti-Semitism)
called a meeting of shadow CLPs. There were just 20 of us discussing how to get
rid of you and what would you know? One of the 20, camera turned off of course,
was Kaplan’ spy. And within a couple of days a Notice of Investigation was
emailed to a woman, let us call her Jane. Apparently it’s her third such
Notice, which I have to say is extremely wasteful of resources. Can’t these
expulsions be streamlined?
At the
risk of being accused of anti-Semitism it seems to me that there are lots of
good historical precedents to the political (I nearly said ‘ethnic’) cleansing
that is so necessary if we are to form a safe (for capitalism) alternative to
the Tories. If the Establishment aren’t
going to object to you forming a government and becoming PM then we have to
prove that we can be trusted not to tax their ill-gotten gains, I mean
hard-earned income.
And to do
that we have to employ lots of extra staff, whilst saying goodbye to staff
trying to recruit members. After all members are more trouble than they are
worth as Rachel so wisely
observed.
If Labour
is going to be trusted then it is essential that you keep close tabs on the
members, most of whom voted for that Corbyn fellow. Paying people to become informers
has a long and noble history. Why Anne Frank would still be around today if the
Gestapo had been squeamish about their methods. You can’t afford to be sentimental.
But first
a few words of advice from an old friend. I fully understand why you had to
pretend to be continuity Corbyn and issue those 10 Pledges. But do you
still have to have them on your website?
We are
not going to win over many friends in high places with promises to increase
income tax for the top 5% or reverse cuts in Corporation Tax. And ending “the Tories’ cruel sanctions regime”
is the kind of thing Corbyn would have said.
As
for “No more illegal wars. Introduce a
Prevention of Military Intervention Act.” How does that square with talk of
waging war against Russia. And as for ‘Support
common ownership of rail, mail, energy and water”. We all know you didn’t
mean it so why is it still there? And ‘Strengthen(ing) workers’
rights and trade unions’ sounds a bit too much
like Corbyn. What are you going to do at the next election when you promise
that nothing will change and the Tories then start quoting from your Pledges?
Take my advice and be shot of them now. You have to appease Momentum types now!
And then there is anti-Semitism. You promised to
root it out but it seems you and David Evans have barely started. To be blunt
there are still too many Jews (of the wrong kind of course) in the party. Can’t
you proscribe anyone who is Jewish unless they prove they are a Zionist?
Speaking of which another problem has surfaced. It’s
all very well expelling people who call Israel an Apartheid State but one of
those annoying human rights groups, Amnesty International, has just issued
a report saying that Israel was an Apartheid state.
My advice is to make Amnesty International a
proscribed organisation. Anyone who is a member or supporter is out on their
ears. What would Louise Ellman say if she knew that these bleeding heart
liberals were still around?
My advice
to you Keith is to be bold and taken no prisoners. Follow the example of the Jewish State. Shoot
first and ask questions later.
With all
best wishes,
Tony
